Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster represented at Assembly meeting

Sep 16, 2020

Barrett Fletcher, the founding pastor of the First Lower Peninsula Congregation of Pastafarians.
Credit KBBI Zoom screengrab

Last night, for the second year in a row, a Homer man gave the invocation for the Kenai Peninsula Borough Assembly meeting. Last year it was before a packed Homer City Council chambers, but due to social distancing rules, this year the invocation was given over Zoom. Nevertheless, Barrett Fletcher wore his church’s traditional headdress to deliver the prayer, a colander.
    “I am Barrett Fletcher, the founding pastor of the First Lower Peninsula Congregation of Pastafarians, and I’ve been asked to do the invocation.
    “So we're here again a year later and several assembly members still feel the need for divine intervention in their work. Whether that work is mundane property use and tax issues or important education, environmental issues, or perhaps revolutionary voting rights issues. I admit to feeling a little trepidation asking the great Flying Spaghetti Monster to intervene yet again, so soon after the last time. I mean, was it because of, or in spite of his chronic inebriation, he did create us with the ability to reason for ourselves. One fear is that he'll be quite reasonably annoyed at our constant entreaties for help with work that he created us to be quite capable of accomplishing on our own.
“Nonetheless. In accordance with local ordinance and with the understanding that the monster is in general, we believe, to be a happy drunk and not easily riled. I again ask the great Flying Spaghetti Monster, inebriated creator of the universe and all that's in it, to rouse himself from his stupor, and let his noodly appendages ground each assembly member in their seats, reminding them of the purpose of their election to this body and helping them to stay focused on the tasks at hand and may he help them to easily equate each of those tasks, avoiding any pettiness and irrelevant disagreement. And may he provide each of them satisfaction in the perception of accomplishment and allow them true relaxation and an ample supply of their favorite beverage at the end of this evening's work, and allow them true relaxation and an ample supply of their favorite beverage at the end of this evening’s work.
“R’amen.”